Surprise!!!

It's almost one in the morning and guess who hasn't slept!?

How'd you guys guess it was me? Oh...right...I'm typing this.

So I have a lot going through my mind and although I haven't been able to control my eating habits and have relapsed into my binging again (although the purging I'm not allowing myself to do) and have gained a total of 25 pounds back from my lowest point, I'm not hurting so bad from it.

I have taken the past couple days to think over things and try and pin point why I've been acting this way, and I came up with a couple of questions in my mind and the one that has stuck out to me is the fact that people in this life never want to be the person to break the bad news to others. They don't want to risk hurting someones feelings, and it was this form of thinking that has hurt me for almost ALL of my life after highschool.

I remember one incident where I introduced 2 friends to each other and after telling the guy I liked him he said he was leery about starting another relationship. I completely understood and didn't press the matter...that is until I found out that he began to date the friend I'd introduced him to behind my back.

Why lie to me? Do you think it's going to hurt less when you sit and deny something to my face, and make me feel like you have to have a secret relationship to spare my feelings? You can't just date because that risks hurting me...really?

I don't want to be the reason you can't live a normal life. I'm a big girl. Just tell me the truth and stop denying it!

I've noticed an overwhelming majority of times when friends do this. They make up some crap excuse so that they don't "hurt my feelings" and then ultimately hurt me more when I find out about what's really going on.

The point of this post dear readers is that this life is short. We are adults. Why lie and risk hurting someone worse farther down the line then taking the chance to tell them the truth and have them hurt for a bit but eventually respect you for being honest?

So tell me the truth people! If I annoy you to the point of wanting to punch me out then tell me! If you are inspired by me tell me. If you think I'm making a stupid decision for my future don't spare me the hurt and just knock some sense into me. Believe me when I say that I can handle it. Don't try to save me from pain. Life is pain, but that pain makes us strong, and helps us to grow as a human being. Please don't deprive me of my growth, and I'll try not to deprive you of yours.