Monday, October 17, 2011


I have one. And I'm hungry.

The past few days I've finally got myself watching Buffy, and I justify sitting on my butt watching an old show by doing flashcards for Jareth's Series 7 test. My guy is on his way to becoming a stock broker. I have NEVER seen so many definitions before. I'm thankful I'm not in his shoes. It's one thing to make about 500 flashcards. It's a whole different story to have to study them.

I'm getting prepped for my move. I finally decided it was time to move out of my parents house so I'm in the job searching mode. I figure I'll move sometime after I get back from my family trip to New York. We are going to have a small burial type thing for my Uncle and then have a little family time together visiting my dads old house, and Amish country.

I'm getting back to where I was at weight wise before I had my little binging weight gain relapse thing. I forgot how it felt to NOT be sick all the time. I like being healthy. Although the craving for a chocolate lava cake is a little overwhelming at times, but I manage.

I've been going to therapy to get back into a healthy mindset. I go to a group and private session. It's amazing how food addictions and eating disorders are so common. Mainly because there are so many different forms. My therapist says that I am going through these trials right now because I'm meant for more. She's sure I'm meant to help people through my mental and physical problems I've had the past two years.

It makes me happy to think that I could help someone with my experiences, but at the same time I'm anxious to know when I'll finally be better.

I figure just talking about my struggles helps people.

I should probably end this blog here. I think I should try to keep these short. Don't want to bore anyone!

I love you readers!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Life as I know it

So I thought that it might be a nice time to update everyone on my life recently considering I haven't done a personal post in a while.

Honest time?

I lost my willingness to write. I figure that this is the closest thing I have to a journal. The problem with my journals is that I get one, write in it for a day or sometimes I'm really good and write in it everyday for a week. Then a part of me sits back and thinks about how my future children could read it and then I get slightly embarrassed because half the time I'm writing about boy drama, and the other half of the time I'm writing about school or work. None of that sounds interesting, or it makes me sound like a hormonal weirdo. So then I skip a day of writing in my journal which then goes to a year when I buy a new one because I see one in the store that's just "so darn cute," and I feel like I may start writing again. (This has led to about 8 journals sitting in a drawer in my house, and I pick up different ones at different times to write an entry so they're a mess).

So, long story short, I feel like I've accomplished something by keeping this blog alive. It's like redemption for the money wasted on journals that may very well never be filled. Hence the non personal and stupid posts.

If you're still reading by this point I applaud you, and I give you a cyber cookie.

My life has been pretty interesting lately.

After 22 years and no boyfriend I finally met an amazing guy.

His name is Jareth. He makes me smile, and when we're loopy because we haven't slept I laugh so hard that my side hurts. He makes me feel like the struggles I've had in life have made me the person that he loves, and the same goes for him.

I'm not going to go into to much detail because how many of you have posted pictures on facebook and then had to delete all of them when you broke up? I'm not saying we're going to break up by the way...I'm just saying that it's to soon to tell and you break up with everyone but your husband...I guess even then you may have broken up with him at one point to.

And tangent complete.

Just know that he makes me happy, and I only hope for good things from this relationship.

I realized some things from dating though that I don't think people realize until they have a significant other so I'll spell it out for any who may be wondering.

1. Put yourself on the line. Wear your heart on your sleeve, and eventually there will be someone who will gladly reach out and take it to keep it safe.

2. Don't be scared or intimidated by the person you're pursuing or being pursued by. They're human, and they have flaws just like you. Heck, those flaws may bring you closer because you can relate.

3. Having a significant other is cool because if you feel down all you have to do is think about the person that loves you. Family can love you but they have to. To have someone willingly love you for you...well, it's kind of amazing.

4. Don't talk about the other negatively. It does no good, but cause a disagreement. (That one was one that I broke. Not the happiest night. Just don't gossip unless it's to say how amazing the person you're dating is.)

5. Communication is key. Not communication with others (as stated above), but with each other. If you don't acknowledge a problem it won't get fixed. Then it festers, and you blow up over stupid things.

6. Always share how you feel about them. Tell them you love them.

7. If you DO get in an argument then no matter what end it on a good note. Tell them you love them.

8. When you're dating a gentleman and he pays and you've gotten to the stage that you can tell him you love him...tell him you love him.

It's only love if you share it! Tell the one you love how you feel, and I'm not just talking about your partner. Make sure to tell each loved one how you feel about them.

I love you dear readers!