So I have found that every night before I doze off into dream world my mind drifts towards my life and how to make myself a better person.
Recently I realized that I have a way of snubbing people off when I feel that I am not wanted. I am so concerned about feeling worth something to people at least enough that I am remembered.
I've looked back on my life and I liked a guy and would text him every now and then. With each occasion we carried on a nice conversation until a few texts in he would say he unfortunately didn't have my number in is phone and wanted to know who it was that he was texting.
To me it meant 1 thing. I jumped to the conclusion that I wasn't remembered because I wasn't worth a thing to this guy. From occurrences like this I came to base my self worth on what others thought of me.
I would be nice to this guy when I felt he remembered me and then snub him off after each time he said he didn't have my number which made me seem bipolar. Through that it made me feel less worth something because he wanted less to do with me.
My point in telling this to the internet community...or at least those that read my blog is that the only one that can decide your worth is in fact yourself.
So what if a person doesn't like you enough to remember you? Out of the thousands of people a day you come in contact with you can't make all of them love you. In fact if you were to meet every person on the planet throughout your life there is a high probability that at least 50% of people won't click with you. It's a fact of life, and this guy although may have been a victim of my misplaced worth, shouldn't have been a part of my life, or my attention.
I can be offended by his actions, but I shouldn't take them to heart because he is the one that missed out on getting to know me, and through this experience I've come to realize that each person has something to offer others. Each person needs a friend, and each person deserves to have those around them lift them up rather then have them doubt themselves.
My point dear readers is that you are all a gift. You may be a blessing in disguise to someone. You are a life changing part in those around you.
You may not realize who you help, and you may never find out who you've helped in this life, but it doesn't matter. The important part of this life is to find yourself happy each night at the things you've accomplished throughout the day.
Think of all the people in the world that you can affect just by keeping your head up, smiling at those around you, and saying hi.
There may be someone out there that feels they aren't loved, but YOUR hello may mean more than you think.
So the things I've learned from my analysis is that you need to...
1. Set your own self worth, and don't let any of the negative influences tear you down.
2. Share your happiness with others, and try to project that happiness to others.
and 3. Be yourself, and if someone doesn't like you, it's there loss, not yours.
I love you guys. Even if I don't say it all the time, each one of you has affected me in some positive way. Just by reading this blog it shows support, and that you care enough about me that you care what is going on in my life.
I hope that sharing my experiences with others helps those around me, and I've always wanted to do service to others. The goal on the top of my list was to use my experiences to help others.
I always wanted to travel the world, and build things for those in desolate places. I wanted to teach English to those that could have a better life for it, and all these big goals made me overlook all the good I can do to those here at home.
Don't let life pass you by. Live each day like it's your last, and share your happiness. Be a beacon to those that are lost, and accept people for who they are, not what you want them to be.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Analyze this!
Posted by Giovanna at 1:05 PM
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